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USA Swimming Must Apologize to Sometimes-Smoker Michael Phelps

Politics

Kevin Hilke

Phelps—exhibiting all the subtle wiles of the sportsman-politician we’ve made him—takes care to apologize for making “bad decisions.” His only bad decision was allowing himself to be photographed taking a hit, thus opening himself to the sort of ignorant, draconian lunacy with which his routine, mundane indiscretion has been greeted. Next time, Michael—and the next time, and the next time, until the rest of the country grows up—do your smoking in a closet.

The Plasma Spring